My Early Days As A Priest

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When Sukulina and I took over our first congregation we moved into a tiny three bedroom bungalow on a very busy street with six small children. This tiny house was both our home and the temple. One bedroom became the temple office and another room, the living room, became the temple. We had little space for our family. And to make matters worse, every day, scores of people would visit our home/temple to pray or meditate, and on weekends there would be hundreds of people. Just imagine one bathroom, a family of six young children living in one room, and hundreds of guests! It was insanity. I ended up setting up a small tent trailer in the backyard as my room. I slept there alone in the winter and even during the rainy season.

In time our small temple prospered and we moved to a bigger location. This time there was actually a separate building for the priest’s residence. Unfortunately, it was only ten meters from the temple building and so again we had little privacy. For years Sukulina had the public walking through her home to use the bathroom or to use the kitchen. We even had people walk into our bedroom to wake me to open the temple at 3:30 AM! We never had privacy.

But my loss of privacy was still not the hardest part. As a priest I had to deal with unbelievable amounts of human suffering. This is something all priests have to face regardless of the religion. I had to deal with the pain of parents whose children were dying from terminal diseases. I had to face the grief of husbands as they cremated their wives. I have performed the funerals of teenagers who have committed suicide and for people who have been murdered. There is almost no end to the amount of human suffering that a priest sees. In the early years I did not shield myself from these terrible situations. I thought I must feel these people’s pain in order to console them. I had to learn the hard way. I did not understand that when I allowed this pain to enter my life it consumed me and became dangerous for me.

About a year after I became a priest I almost died. I suffered from a mysterious breakdown that the doctors still do not understand. I became paralyzed for almost four months. I could not sit up in bed, I could not walk, I could not raise my arms to feed myself, and I almost lost my ability to use my abdominal muscles. In other words, I almost lost my ability to breath. I came to within a hair’s breath of being put on a respirator. The doctors tested me for every conceivable disease, but could never make a diagnosis. I attribute this ailment to the huge stress that I underwent when I first came to this position. The enormity of learning the cultures, learning the pujas, the complete loss of personal privacy, and having to deal with the immensity of human suffering was an tremendous shock to my life. When I became a priest my life was turned inside out. My private life became public. I ceased to have a normal marriage or family life. My family became the world and I became public property. My private spiritual life became a subject of public discussion by literally thousands of people. Those who live “normal” lives have no idea how this feels. It has taken me years to cope. My family was also affected. At one point Sukulina even left me and ran away with the family and hid for weeks. I could not blame her. She tried to get me to stop being a priest, but I refused and I almost lost her. Today, the way that we live as a family is almost entirely based on our need to cope and manage our lives in the public spot light.

In these early days whenever I had any free time I would go for long walks just to find a few minutes of solitude away from the people. I used to get so “peopled out” that I would go almost mad. It was at this time that I became seriously ill. This became a life changing experience and I realized that if I was going to survive as a priest I would have to change the way I lived and thought. This is when I learned to compartmentalize my feelings and when I learned to take shelter of the desert. In the desert I could find solitude and privacy. Anna, the desert saved my life. My desert excursions eventually evolved into the desert property where I now live.

My Fall

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The Dallas temple was divided into three sections: The main assembly area which included the temple room, kitchen, pujari rooms and offices; the dinning hall and dormitory rooms; and a section of guest rooms and other specialized rooms used for such things as curriculum development, graphics layout and printing. Kama Nagari lived in one of the offices used for graphic layout. The office that I slept in was just down the hall in the same section of the building, so we could reach each other easily.

Later in the morning Kama Nagari and I went for a japa walk to discuss what had happened. It is hard to know what really goes on in the mind of another, but from my perspective I wanted to get a “handle” on what had just occurred and make sure that it would not happen again. Anna, I am a “control freak.” I like to have charge of everything that goes on around me, but of course, sex touches the basic foundations of biological life, something that can not be controlled. So I made her agree there would be no more sexual advances of the type that had happen earlier that morning. She had stirred up feelings that were way beyond my control. Moreover, I was serious and determined to follow the vows of my initiation. I thought it would be easy to manage sex; just have a conversation, make a decision and all would be well. Was I dreaming!

Toward the end of that same evening I was alone with Kama Nagari in her room. It was late and time for bed so I was going to head to my room when she began to undress in front of me without any warning. I was shocked and embarrassed. Suddenly she was naked standing before me. I felt cheated. We had agreed that there would be no more of this. She invited me to come to her. I did not know what to do, but eventually I was overcome. Biology rules and so I went and laid down with her. The marriage was now complete.

Actually I had no preparation for marriage whatsoever. There was no plan for living together, no plan for money. I was still intending to return to Toronto and live at home with my parents and finish my final year of university. Nothing had been thought out. Would I take Kama Nagari back to Toronto? Would she even want to go? What about my parents? Would they let us live together in their home? If not, then what? I had no answer to any of these questions and I especially had no idea of what marriage meant. I had never even had a girl friend what to speak of a wife. My solution to all of these problems was simple: we would just work it out and Krishna would provide.

Anna, unless you have gone through it, it is impossible to know what it means to be a twenty-three year old male crawling with hormones and then to live with a woman with whom you are attracted and not be allowed to make love to her. In our case we had taken vows of householder (grihastha) celibacy, which meant sex only for procreation. There is only one outcome for this kind of predicament, babies, lots of them. Hence the nine children that I now have.

 

Image taken from: http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/positive-effect-of-negative-spaces-in-photography/

Construction in Progress

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It was HOT today, in the lower 40s! I started at 5:30 AM and by 11 AM I had completed most of my electrical installation and other utilities. I have the inspector coming on Monday morning. If he approves of everything I can go ahead and burry the trenches and hook the house up. But after this week and last week I am cooked. But Happy! I just hope I don’t get sick again. A heat stoke usually takes a day to “kick in.” Our summer heat has started. I have to be careful. This kind of heat can be dangerous. The good thing is that the nights are wonderful, so cool and refreshing.

June 4, 2005

The Inspector came today and passed all of my utilities. He also said once the stucco is complete he will issue an occupancy permit. This means the house may be cleared for living in about 7 to 10 days. For now I have electricity, water, sewage. Gas will come in about two weeks. Air conditioning will be done in about three weeks. So slowly slowly I am getting there. This was my fourth week working outside on all of this. The end is in sight! 🙂

In this country I had to pay about $5000 for a building permit in order to build this house. Part of that money went towards a school tax. At various stages in the construction I have to call an inspector to come and check that the work is done properly. He signs a construction card. Without his approval I can not move ahead to the next stage. Although this process makes the work even more expensive it ensures that decent construction quality is maintained. This is why most of our houses in this country are able to survive earthquakes, etc. This is how stucco is applied to a house. You can see the first coat that just covers the wire mesh. This is called the scratch coat. The second coat is called the brown coat. After the brown coat there is one more coat called the color coat. We are considering what color to make the house in the final coat that will be applied in about 30 days.

June 24, 2005

Happy happy, the inspector just signed our occupancy permit. Technically we are now allowed to move in. Moving in is still a few months away, but at least as far as the government regulations are concerned we are done. This is a milestone for a project I have been working on for six years. So I am pleased. I bought the land six years ago with nothing here, no road, no water, no electricity, nothing. Then each year we have done a little work and gradually I have gotten to this point. And to make matters even better I was able to get the hot water turned on today. I can now even take a hot shower. In another few days I will have a nice new shower that is all black granite.

September 9, 2005

Ah happy happy happy, this morning I finished the telephone and data wiring to the house. This completes all the utilities: water, gas, electricity, sewage,telephone, internet (data), air conditioning, dryer venting. Building a house is a massive undertaking. It is satisfying to know that I did it, but I would never do it again. In a few months I will begin the outside patios, but at least all the inside is complete.


The Four “Regs”: Vowing the Hindu Way

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I surely have one of the most unique positions on the face of this planet. I have both an academic as well as a practical understanding of Hindu culture. My Sanskrit training has given me “ownership” in the Sanskrit language, and therefore an insight into Hindu culture from the perspective of its ancient writings. My position as a priest has allowed me entrance into the most intimate areas of modern Hinduism: the lives of its people, their marriages and funerals, their worship, and even relations between husband and wife. As much as any westerner can, I see with Hindu eyes; I know the Hindu mind.

Here is an incident that illustrates a difference between the western and the Hindu way of seeing the world. I am often asked to perform a wedding where either the bride or the groom is non Hindu, which means that many westerners will attend the wedding. If the time for the wedding has been set for 2:00 PM, for example, the western guests will arrive a little early so that they are ready for the wedding to start promptly. Invariably the wedding will not start until sometime after 2:30 and the majority of the Hindu guests will not arrive until sometime around 2:45 or 3:00 PM. This causes a lot of bewilderment on both sides. I have even seen Hindu families compensate for this difference by issuing two sets of invitations, one that says 2:00 PM for the Western guests and the other that says 1:00 PM for the Hindu guests! There is something about western culture that is formal, linear and direct, whereas Hindu culture is casual, fluid and indirect. If the wedding time is stated to be at 2 PM, it means the wedding will start at 2 PM and every westerner knows that they should be present at 2:00 PM if not a few minutes earlier. Time is precise. In Hindu culture just the opposite is true. 2 PM means sometime after 2, perhaps 2:30 or later. Time is fluid. I suspect that classification of thinking lays at the root of all these differences.

Here is another illustration. There are scenes from Valmiki’s Ramayana that describe how the forest sages would practice their austerities of fasting, celibacy, silence and so on. However, I was astounded to find that occasionally one sage would acquire a goat and arrange for a get-together wherein all the sages would come for a night of meat, wine and song. Afterwards, they will melt back into the forest and resume their austerities. To my western mind this seemed contradictory. How could they break their vows so blatantly? They were supposed to be great sages! These days, however, I understand that an occasional night of “goat” was an important relief valve that allowed them to continue with their austerities over the long run. They had compartmentalized their activities. There was no contradiction. I sometimes think that when Prabhupada came to the west and asked his disciples to chant 16 rounds and follow the four regulative principles, he meant it in the “Hindu” way, whereas his western disciples took it in the “western” way.

Knowing both the western and the Hindu mind, I understand that when a western person agrees to chant 16 rounds a day it means that he is agreeing to chant 16 rounds everyday, period. To the Hindu mind, however, it means he will do it for life, but not on days when he is sick or indisposed for some other reason. When a western person agrees not to have sex, even within marriage, it means he will not have sex within marriage, period. To the Hindu mind, however it means that he will commit to householder celibacy, but not on days when he is aroused or when his wife is in need of “attention.”

In other words, the two groups take completely different approaches to following a vow. This is similar to the way westerners and Indian Hindus perceive time. The western interpretation is linear, direct and literal; the Hindu interpretation is fluid, casual and indirect. Unfortunately, most westerners end up giving up completely because they take everything so literally and so “burn out.” Without a relief valve and the means to compartmentalize contradictory behavior they cannot last. Perhaps it would have been better to ask them to vow to follow things that could be done permanently, instead of having them vow to do something impossible to follow. Perhaps more devotees would have remained had there been less extreme rules or some means of pressure relief. Better to have followed the way of the Ramayana sages and to have lasted, than to have tried so hard only to burn out and leave. A “goat” party may be a good thing. Unfortunately, I have no evidence that Prabhupada really meant that we were to understand the four regulative principles in the “Hindu way.” As far as “goat parties” are concerned I also know that without considerable training and maturity it would have been impossible for many western devotees to accept the “Hindu way” without going to excess. At the same time I do think the severity of the rules that Prabhupada asked his disciples to follow has led to a great loss for the movement. Great things were done in the beginning, but only a few could keep it up. On the other hand, the movement derived its power from this “western” style adherence to the rules.

Image Source*: http://www.exoticindiaart.com/product/OQ43/

Image Source**: http://aquarius2001.wordpress.com/

A Danger

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 8:35:34 PM

I am more and more convinced that man is a dangerous creature…*

In the Godfather, a movie about the Italian mafia, there is a scene wherein the family “bosses” are participating in an intimate family baptismal in a church. The scene is full of sacred music. It is deeply religious, peaceful and full of family love and attachment. While this sacred family ritual is going the movie shifts to another scene that is completely opposite. A “hit” is taking place that has been ordered by these same family bosses. It is an absolute massacre of blood, violence and death. The stark differences between these two scenes illustrates both the power and the dark side of compartmentalization. These mafia bosses had so compartmentalized their lives that they could sit in a church and participate in a family ritual, while at the same time, know that they had orchestrated a massacre of death and destruction, all without the slightest tinge of guilt. Like fire, the ability to compartmentalize one’s life is a tool that can be used for both positive or negative.

 * Abigail Adams

Image taken from: http://azatty.wordpress.com/2011/03/15/the-godfather-and-the-ides/

A Way of Thinking

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Thursday, May 5, 2005 7:30:00 AM

Any woman who has a career and a family automatically develops something in the way of two personalities, like two sides of a dollar bill, each different in design. . . . Her problem is to keep one from draining the life from the other.*

 

There is a way of thinking that I have learned, not explicitly, but implicitly through my involvement with Krishna Consciousness and through my study and involvement with Hindu culture over the years. I call this way of thinking “compartmentalization of thought,” not a pleasant expression, but one that describes what I have found to be a useful thought process in dealing with life and, in particular, with contradiction. Only recently have I realized just how much I have come to employ this way of thinking.

You may recall how I came to Krishna Consciousness as a young man and how in those days every new member eventually joined the temple, completely cutting off all contact with the outside world. It was generally an “all-or-nothing” affair. My situation, however, was different, and consequently I have described myself as the first member of Toronto’s lay Hindu congregation. As a result I quickly found myself living in two diametrically opposed worlds; one, the modern Western world of science and rational thought and the other, the mediaeval world of Krishna Consciousness. It would have been easier to simply have been in one world or the other, instead of both. That I was attending university and studying Indian philosophy and history only compounded the problem.

As a means of coping, I gradually learned to compartmentalize my thinking. In one area of my mind I was the modern rational thinker, and in another I was a practitioner of Hindu fundamentalism. I felt tremendous tension between these two world. I am sure that a similar thing must happen to all thinking people who become lay members of a fundamentalist religion. Having a stake in both worlds necessarily demands a degree of thought compartmentalization. Eventually this tension drove me to write my first book,”Hindu Encounter with Modernity.” This was my attempt to resolve the problem.

I have since learned that there are some distinct advantages that come along with the capacity to compartmentalize one’s thinking. I learned this from my study of Indian’s ancient social system, Varnashrama Dharma. According to this system society may be compared to a train. At the head of the train is the engine, and immediately behind the engine are fuel cars, activity cars, passenger cars and finally the caboose. In this train there are cars where people quietly read, where people sleep, dine, do business, drink, and even gamble. In fact, there is a car for almost every lifestyle and activity. A world of activity is going on within this train, but since each car is a distinct compartment; the activities of one car do not affect the activities of another car. The dining cars do not disturb the sleeping cars; the business cars do not disturb the gambling cars, and so on. There is a place for all kind of people on this train and everyone is moving along peacefully to the same destination. Varnashrama Dharma was built on the principle of compartmentalization, and the strength of this system was its ability to accommodate all kinds of people and yet insulate one set of lifestyles and activities from the other. One class did not impinge on the other. There was compartmentalization of activities and yet there was unity of purpose.

In coming to Krishna Consciousness I was inadvertently forced to compartmentalize my thinking process at an early age, and what I initially perceived as a great problem has in fact become a great asset. Life is filled with diverse regions of activities: family, work, public, religious, and so on. The nature of life is such that there is often a natural incongruence between these regions of activity. The difference between family life and work life, for example, may demand that a person act in a certain way with spouse and children, but in a completely different way at work. The work of a policeman or soldier is an example. Even in my own life I have learned not to bring the stress of temple life back into the home life. I have also learned, as a matter of personal protection, that my public religious life must be kept separate from my private spiritual life. My inside must be sheltered from my outside. I have, therefore, found the process of compartmentalization to be an important tool to resolve contradiction and remove stress.

Without compartmentalization life becomes full of impossible strains. I smile at people who demand uniformity of thought, action, and even ethics throughout all areas of life. The physical world is such that one set of standards applied uniformly is not possible. Compartmentalization allows a means to adjust. “I act one way in this part of my life. I act another way in this part of my life.” Sometimes the activities required in one region are contradictory to another region and sometimes they are not, but since life can be divided into discreet compartments, one area can be prevented from spilling into the other.

Compartmentalization of thought, however, may not be suited for everyone. It takes a certain flexibility and maturity of thought to employ this way of thinking. As a young person I remember being idealistic and looking at adults, who acted inconsistently, with distain. I expected consistent actions throughout all regions of life, but as I experienced more of life, I soon found myself doing things that were inconsistent. I thought, “I have sold my ideals?” Perhaps, but unfortunately life does not always allow the luxury of consistent actions. “The bills must be paid.” We, therefore, try to be as consistent as we can, but when we cannot, we have a means to adjust. Compartmentalization is a powerful means of dealing with contradiction and relieving tension.

 

 *Ivy Baker Priest, Tresuerer of the US, auther

*Image taken from: http://www.pulsarwallpapers.com/r_cars_and_bikes__wallpapers_6_railroad_wallpapers_957_old_train_52252.html

Brahmacharya Ashrama

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“In the whole world there is no study so beneficial and so elevating as that of the Upanishads. They are destined sooner or later to become the faith of the people.”*

In Hinduism there a most important set of sacred writings called the Upanishads. There is over a 100 of such texts, but in fact only 13 or so Upanishads are read today. They can be purchased at any book store. The Upanishads are mainly a collection of dialogues between various gurus and their students. Later Hindu texts talk about various deities as being God and so we hear the names of Vishnu, Krishna, Rama, Shiva, Durga, and so on. It is most interesting to learn that the Upanishads, which are the oldest of texts, seldom mention any particular deity. Instead the word for God that is used most is Brahman. Literally, this word means “the big.” Sometimes brahman is said to be the sound brrrrrr, a blast of power. The word brahmacharya means “one who follows the way of brahman,” in other words a seeker of truth is a brahmacharya. Today the terms refers to the stage of life between the ages of 5 to say 25, where celibacy is practiced bya student. I have already explained the importance of celibacy.

This word ashrama has two meanings. First it refers to a quiet place for spiritual practice, a place in the forest or desert for example, and second it refers to stages of life; student, householder, retired and the final stage of complete renunciation. Brahmacharya is the student stage of life wherein the student practices celibacy and learns to follow the way of Brahman. In ISKCON temples the brahmacharya ashrama is the place where the unmarried men live. The place where the unmarried ladies live is called the brahmacharani ashrama.

 

*Schopenhauer

*ImageSource: http://www.himalayanacademy.com/resources/books/dws/dws_mandala-12.html

The Test

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I arrived in Dallas by mid May of 1975 in order to spend my summer at the ISKCON school and to seek diksha. My diksha took place in the last week of July 1975. During the time that I stayed in the Dallas temple I slept in my friend’s office. I kept my personal things downstairs in the brahmacharya ashrama and I slept upstairs in the office. It was impossible for me to live in a communal situation without personal space. Even to this day I generally sleep alone. I was happy that Gadadhara allowed me to spend the nights in his office.

Life in the temple was strict. We woke up at 3:30 AM and attended the first religious service of the day called Mangala Arati at 4:30AM. Arati lasted a half an hour after which we attended a theology class based on the teachings of one Hindu scripture called the Bhagavatam. This lasted until 6:00 AM. After that there was the japa period until 7:30 AM. Immediately after japa we again assembled in the temple room to greet the Deities. Instead of Bhagavatam class and japa certain devotees known as pujaris spend their morning bathing and dressing the sacred images of the Temple and so by 7:30 AM the altars doors were opened and the whole community greeted the Lord with songs and prayers. By 8:00 AM a communal breakfast is served.

 During those early morning japa periods sometimes I would go back to the office for a short nap. On one particular morning as I was lying in my sleeping bag, the door suddenly opened and someone came in. The room was dark. At first I thought it was Gadadhara, but I knew his sounds and it was not him. Instead, I suddenly felt someone lie down beside me and begin to move their hand under the covers and across my chest. It was Kama Nagari! I completely froze. I had never been touched by a woman before and I did not know what to do. I waited to see what would happen. This was maya coming to tempt me. What should I do? How could I get her to stop? So I pushed her hand away and said, “You must stop. This is wrong. I have vows.” She pulled her hand up. “This is not right,” I told her in a stern voice. I then stood her up and made her leave the room. Without saying a word she left. This took place just the day after I had asked her to marry me. I was left shaking, I was angry and I was confused. What had just happened? Maya had approached me! I had been tested. I was full of conflicting emotion. Was this what married life was going to be like–constant temptation? How could I resist such maya? I was angry at her and yet I wanted more. Lust had entered my mind.

Looking back on this incident, I regret that I could not enjoy what would likely have been a very sweet first experience with love. Instead, I set the stage for what was to become a tense marital relationship. My religious vows and the attitude towards sexuality within ISKCON created a tremendous amount of fear and guilt. It would take many years before I would be able to resolve this conflict. I was heading directly into an abyss.

Image taken from: http://www.marvelous-girl.com/?p=4854

The Rules of Freedom

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What is the meaning of human life, or of organic life altogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion. Is there any sense then, you ask, in putting it? I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life.*

As you can see Anna, the rules associated with initiation (diksha) are highly restrictive, but this does not automatically mean they are wrong. Essentially, their purpose is to create a sattvic lifestyle, a situation most conducive to spiritual cultivation. Non violence (ahimsa), for example, leads to spiritual peace and happiness. Hence, the restrictions against killing and meat eating. Clear and focused thinking is also an attribute favorable for spiritual development, hence the rules against intoxication. Similarly, sex and gambling agitate the mind and lead to deep attachments. These regulative principles can therefore be seen as “rules of freedom” in the sense that they can lead to a lessening of the influence of the lower modes. How we act, what we eat, the kinds of friends we have, and so on, all affect the kind of thoughts we have and ultimately the kind of person we become. Live high, go high; live low, go low. It is that simple.

Certainly the restrictions on meat, tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs are not difficult to understand, However, restrictions against such “lightweight” things such as bread, onions, mushrooms, garlic, tea, coffee, or even sex within marriage are more difficult to understand. However, essentially they are prohibited on the same basis of their heavy weight “brothers of sin.” They are considered the “fine tuning” of the rules. There is some reason for each of them. For example, yeasted breads contain small amounts of alcohol and therefore are rejected on that basis. Coffee and tea contain caffeine which makes one rajasik.

Mushrooms generally grow in association with dead and decaying matter and therefore are considered tamasik. All the same, bread is never equated with distilled liquor or mushrooms with meat. In theory, therefore, we do not object to the four regulative principles. It is just the context wherein they are applied that we have issue. For a person who is fully dedicated, who has no family, and who lives within a cloistered environment –a temple for example– these rules are appropriate. They lead to purity. But for a person who is married, who has a family, who has an outside job, these rules can be harsh. In particular, the prohibitions against sex within marriage impede intimacy, create guilt and stress, and ultimately may damage a marriage.

The acronym, ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Consciousness) is a misnomer. Instead, it should be IMOKCON (International Monastic Order for Krishna Consciousness)! As soon as you put the word “society” into the name you change everything. Society involves wives, children, and common people–the lay congregation–and when you try to apply monastic rules to such people you create stress and criminality. A couple sneaks off to watch a movie. Even children who are otherwise vegetarian end up eating eggs, onions and garlic and other prohibited items when they go to friend’s houses. People have to cheat just to have a bite of bread. (If you recall I did this myself with Gadadhar and Brahmidevi. We secretly baked bread and ate it with the curtains pulled down so that no one would see!) Families secretly acquire TV sets, and so on. In other words, you create psychological criminality and corruption from which other kinds of more serious problems develop.

I do not have to tell you what happens when sexual desire is repressed. As with the Roman Catholic Church, there have been major problems with aggression, homosexuality and child molestation within ISKCON. Divorce is much higher than within the rest of the population. All kinds of pathological activities appear when these rules are misapplied. For me marriage and the rules relating to sexuality became a major problem. A wife was real beginning of sexuality in my life. The struggle with celibacy was enough for me, but to suddenly add diksha and woman into the equation was the breaking point. Guilt and criminality ruled the day. Had the change just been Bhakta Brian becoming Shukavak, and had I stayed single, even attending university, it would have been a workable situation, but now, with the addition of a wife, I had entered the realm of society. Celibacy and marriage do not mix.

*Albert Einstein. The World as I See It, 1934

The Morning After Guru

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The morning after my initiation an enraged voice came into my head. It was the voice of reason: “What have you just done? You have taken initiation? What did you just agree to? The four what? Regulative principles? Sixteen daily rounds of Japa? My God! Do you understand what you have done?

So let me get this straight. You agreed to the four regulative principles:

1. No meat, which includes all animals, fish, eggs, and even bread, onions, garlic, and mushrooms?

2. No intoxicants, which includes liquors, beers, wines, tobaccos, but even tea and coffee?

3. No gambling which means going to casinos, buying lotteries, playing bingo and cards, and even stock market investments?

and

4. No illicit sex, including sex outside of marriage and even sex within marriage that is not for procreation, and even masturbation? And what have I also heard? If you are going to have sex for procreation then you must even chant fifty rounds of japa in advance, an eight hour chanting session?

My God, what have you agreed to? And what about the sixteen rounds of japa that must be chanted everyday? That will take two hours everyday. Are you mad?

And what happened to Brian? Who is this Shukavak? What a crazy name! Have lost your mind? You’ve really gone out on a limb! How am I going to save you this time?”

Believe it or not Anna, such a set of regulations was not an impossible commitment for me in those days. Even chanting sixteen rounds was not a problem. I had been chanting this many rounds for the last five years. On these grounds, I considered myself reasonably qualified to take initiation. So I entered into this commitment with sincere intentions. However, married life was about to present a major new challenge to my spiritual life.