Arriving Back in Toronto

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Kama Nagari, Vrindavan and I arrived back in Toronto during early May of 1978. We had been away for almost two years. They were not easy years, but they were instructive ones. From Los Angeles I had sent Kama Nagari first to Miami and then to Toronto. She flew with Vrindavan and I drove to Toronto via Dallas. I wanted to check on our house in Dallas and wanted Kama Nagari to spend a few weeks her family in Florida. She was four months pregnant with Shesha at the time.

Since Kama Nagari and I had purchased our little VW Beetle I had now driven from Dallas to Miami and back, Dallas to Toronto and back, Dallas to Los Angeles and back and now Dallas to Toronto again. This was over 16,000 kms. I had now seen this country from ocean to ocean and right up the middle three times. Recall that I bought this car with 150,000 kms, which was a lot in those days for a tiny four cylinder engine, and now, as I was all loaded up ready to leave for Toronto, I did not like the sound of the engine so I stopped at an engine place down the street to have it checked. I ended up having the engine rebuilt, which delayed my trip for three days and cost $1100. It also meant that I had to have the valves reset in Tucson Arizona as part of the new break in period. Whether or not rebuilding the engine was necessary I felt better and in the end I kept this car for many more years before I traded it. This was my first car and I had many fond memories with it. It served me well.

Eventually Kama Nagari, Vrindavan and I ended up together at my parent’s home in Toronto after a month of separation. Becoming established again in Canada was no easy task. It was not simple like the first time. Having children complicates everything! It was May and my school did not begin until September so I had time. It was decided that Kama Nagari and I would live at my parent’s cottage. I have written about this cottage in past installments, so for me this was a home coming full of wonderful childhood memories. But we still needed a way to make money and so we went job hunting. We needed something that would allow us to work at the cottage which was about 160 kms east of Toronto. In the end Kama Nagari found a job as a knitter, making ski hats. We found a company that manufactured ski hats. This company would provide us with a knitting machine, training, yarns and the design, and Kama Nagari would knit these hats at home and be paid so much per hat. This was piece work. The more hats she knitted the more money she made. Ah!, what a grueling way to make a living, but it did allow us to live at the cottage and work at home. It was a humble beginning.

In September I was to enter a Master’s program at the University of Toronto in the department of South Asian Studies. What I had learned during my two years as a “surrendered” devotee in the Dallas and Los Angeles temples was that the monastic life was not for me. I was just too worldly and independent to live in the community of devotees. I was also starting to see “the box” that I had put myself within. I was learning that I could have a spiritual life outside of the institution. Though I liked Krishna Consciousness I was unable to accept, what to me, was the limited world of an institutionalized spiritual life. I could not find camaraderie with most devotees. Anna, I was like a chick beginning to peck its way out of its shell. Even though I had great fears about leaving the nest I was determined to create my own life.

Radhika’s Setup

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Of all my daughters the most discerning, critical and even cynical is Radhika. Earlier she had asked if I believed in God. In the same vain she recently asked how a person dies. She knows that I have the unenviable job of going to hospitals to perform last rites and so she was naturally curious.

Well, I said, “When the soul leaves the body the person dies.”

She responded, “Soul? You mean some kind of spiritual spark and when this spark leaves the body the person dies?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Do animals have souls?” She asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“What about plants?” was the next question.

“Yes, all living things have souls. That is what creates life,” I again answered.

“While a person is living, where does this soul stay within the body”?

“In the heart,” I replied. I was just giving the standard answers that all priests give.

“Now, what about when a person gets a heart transplant, does the person get a new soul? What about when you take a plant cutting and from just a stem you can get another plant. How does the new soul get there? And what about Dolly?”

“Dolly?”

“Yes, the cloned sheep. They just took some DNA and RNA and cloned another sheep. How did that spiritual spark get there? Does this mean there is more than one soul in everybody? Maybe there is a soul in every DNA piece?”

She had set me up! Now I had to get myself out of this hole.

Anna, I have told you that I have no idea whether there is a God, and yet I have stated my reasons for making the leap of faith about God. Moreover, the existence of God implies the existence of soul, and so I am also inclined to accept the existence of a soul. The common soul model is some kind of spiritual spark that inhabits the body. This is what I call the “particle model” of the soul, but as science advances and new challenges are presented to theology in the form of organ transplants and cloning it is necessary to develop new models of God, soul and spirituality. I enjoy these challenges. So here is my present thinking on the matter of soul.

Anna, The Bhagavad Gita speaks about the soul in a “negative way” “It is not like this; it is not like that; it cannot be cut, it cannot be burned; it cannot be moistened; it cannot be measured,” and so on. The most positive and direct thing the Gita has to say about the soul is that it is eternal and all pervading. The Upanishads compare the soul to breath or wind. The idea of the soul as a spiritual particle has only limited use in Hinduism, the breath or wind model of the soul is far more common. Of course, the word “soul” is never used in Sanskrit, instead the most basic term is “sat.” The word sat means eternal, unchanging and all pervasive. This is what is usually translated as soul. And yet “soul” commonly implies some kind of spiritual essence that we sometimes imagine as a “spiritual spark.” This is perhaps more Christian than Hindu and yet this is how the current generation of Hindus understand the concept of soul. Translating sat as soul, and doing a similar thing for other key Sanskrit terms, has led to the Christianization of Hinduism, but this is a whole other discussion. In no way is sat some kind of spiritual particle.

For the purposes of this discussion I am going to translate sat as “existence,” and since we are having this discussion I am going to introduce another Sanskrit term that is also used to describe “soul.” This is cit. “Cit” means consciousness. So “soul” is something that is eternally existent, conscious and all pervasive, sat and cit. Given these ideas of soul here is how I view life and death.

Imagine a house, a skyscraper, a simple rowboat, a cruise ship or any other structure or conveyance that exists in this world. They are all particular arrangements of matter, some more sophisticated than others. A simple house is a less sophisticated organization of matter compared to a huge skyscraper. Similarly, the rowboat compared to the cruise ship is also a less sophisticated organization of matter, but in all cases buildings and boats are just organized arrangements of matter. In fact, everything in this world is simply matter arranged according to some system, and all such organizational systems are arranged according to a particular set of instructions, a plan. A house, the skyscraper, the row boat and the cruise ship are all fashioned according to a set of instructions that we call blueprints, but he skyscraper will have many more sets of these blueprints compared to the simple house because the skyscraper is a more sophisticated arrangement of matter.

What is an apple seed? When I ask this question, I usually get an answer that it is like an embryo or tiny tree squeezed down into the size of the seed. I think of an apple seed as tiny set of instructions, a set of blue prints that makes an apple tree. An apple seed is really just an information package! Plant this information package in the earth, activate it with water and heat, and the most amazing thing happens. Raw matter is transformed into all the components of an apple tree, cellulose, water, sugars, etc. The DNA within the apple seeds contains the necessary information to construct an apple tree. We call this arrangement of matter, life! And similarly for preach trees, pear trees, maple trees and virtually every other living thing in this world, even animals and human beings. A human being is constructed according to the set of plans contained within a sperm and an egg. What makes life distinct from dull matter is that the level of organization is vastly more sophisticated in the case of life than in the case of dull matter. But the amazing thing about matter is that when it is organized in a sufficiently sophisticated manner it can allow sat and cit to shine through. This is the appearance of soul that we call life. Compared to a plant, an animal is a structure that is many many more times sophisticated and so it all allows for a much higher manifestation of soul. And a human being is a structure that is even more sophisticated than an animal. So Anna, I think of biological structures as systems of sophisticated organization that function as portals or doorways for soul, and when these systems of organization break down sufficiently, the doorway closes and soul vanishes. This is what we call death. The arrangement of matter that we call a house or skyscraper is never sophisticated enough to allow the manifestation of soul and so there is no question of death when these structures fall into dissolution.

In this way a heart transplant was no bearing on the presence of soul so long as the overall integrity of the body is maintained during the transplant operation through the use of heart lung machines, etc. A plant cutting or an animal cloning, as in the case of Dolly, is just an alternative means of extracting and activating an information package. This is how I look upon life. It is all around us at all times, but only when matter is sufficiently arranged does it manifest soul, sat and cit.

Photograph* by Malati Marvin

Image Source**: http://weheartit.com/entry/565812

Image Source***: http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/news/392/hello-dolly-the-sheep-changed-world

This is California: Smog

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“The new American finds his challenge and his love in the traffic-choked streets, skies nested in smog, choking with the acids of industry, the screech of rubber and houses leashed in against one another while the townlets wither a time and die.”*

If you mix fog and smoke together you get smog! The Los Angeles basin is so called because it is an area trapped between the Pacific Ocean on the west and coastal mountains on the east. The flat area between these two natural boundaries extends for almost 40 kms. This is the area where 20 million people live that is called Los Angeles. Actually there are over 50 cities throughout this region among which the city of Los Angeles is the most prominent. When I lived near the Los Angeles temple I was actually in Culver City.

If there are 20 million people living within the Los Angeles basin it seemed that there were 40 million cars! I have no idea what the actual number is, but it is a lot. Cars, cars, cars, this is Los Angeles. Even today there is no extensive public transit system and in the late 1970s it was even worse. The private automobile reigns supreme. Literally I do not know a person over the age of 16 who does not have access to a car! Virtually all children get their drivers license at 15. And so when the exhaust of all these millions of cars mixes with the fog rolling in from the Pacific Ocean and it is blocked by the high coastal mountains we have the twinkling chemical soup called smog. Lots of it! In the 1970s the smog used to be much worse than it is now. Today all the cars in California burn a special fuel that limits exhaust pollution, but still it is bad.

Anna, when I lived here in the 1970s this smog was so thick that I could not see the mountains just 25 kms away for months on end. I would come home in the afternoon with pains in my chest and have to lie down just to catch my breath. It was this bad in those days. Just to live in this area was the equivalent of smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. Today one of the reasons I have moved my family to the desert beyond the coastal mountains is to avoid the smog of Los Angeles. This is life in California.

*John Steinbeck, U.S. author.


This is California: Fruit Cakes

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“The attraction and superiority of California are in its days.
It has better days & more of them, than any other country.”*

There is no doubt that California is the land of the bizarre. We have earthquakes, smog, floods, high winds, fires and a freeway system that is full of crack pots in golf carts and drive-by shootings. You can read about us in the newspapers or see us on television all the time. And if you live anywhere else in North America you think California is the land of craziness. In New York they call this the land of the fruit cakes. Here we think we are normal, but it is a lie. We have the glitz of Hollywood and everyone has a guru or is into some strange cult or therapy group. And this certainly includes me! Yet I love California with a passion and would never consider living anywhere else. You just have to protect

yourself, by moving to the desert, taking up meditation or becoming a Hackey Sack or Hat Trick champion. Did I ever tell you that my son Shesha became a Hackey Sack Champion, for the whole world?

Indeed, California is the most exciting place on earth. Where else can you go surfing in the morning and snow skiing in the afternoon, in May? Where else can you find vast deserts, beautiful beaches and lofty mountains all under the same roof. California sets the trend for the rest of the continent and much of the world. This is the seat of the high tech revolution that has spread across the world. The clothes fashions that you wear started two years before here in California. The moment I set foot in California I knew that I had found my place. For sure I was a weirdo and California was waiting to embrace me. Unfortunately during my first visit here in 1976 I could not remain. I was too young and not yet prepared to make California my home. I had to return to my winter exile in Canada until I was ready. Indeed, California was ready for me, but I has not ready for her. I would have to wait another decade before I could settle into my exciting home. This is life in California.

 

*Ralph Waldo Emerson, U.S. essayist, poet, philosopher.

Image Source: http://www.slipaway.net

This is California: Earthquakes

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“I have thought of relocating, somewhere where I’d be more appreciated.
California, perhaps. I could teach earthquake preparedness.”*

 Anna, most of coastal California is earthquake country and until you have experienced your first quake you have no idea what this means. The potential for a devastating earthquake profoundly affects the consciousness of everyone who lives here. We all know that at any moment life could come to a screeching halt. Roadways, water, gas, communications, financial services and every other system that makes life work could immediately come to an end. Besides that, your house could fall on your head. Except for the very center, Los Angeles is a flat city. Most of the buildings are single stories, some are two story and just a few rise over three stories. This, of course, means that the city spreads out for miles. You know know how much I drive. Everything is miles apart and so Los Angeles sports a vast freeway system. In this part of the world you live in two places, your home or your car. “Around here you have to love what you drive” is the motto for Mercedes in California. It is true.

I experienced my first California quake just a few months after arriving in Los Angeles. I was sitting in my study when suddenly I felt deep thunder beneath my feet. Instead of thunder from the sky it was thunder from the ground. The walls shook and kitchen pots fell from their shelves. I was picked up by a wave and tossed across the room. All this happened in the blinking of an eye, and then it was over almost before it had started. My heart was pounding. At first I had no idea what had happen, then I realized it was an earthquake. Later I learned that this was just a minor quake. Oh my God! What would a major one be like? Since this time I have experienced many larger quakes. I have seen high voltage electrical lines swing and collide in the dark. It is a spectacular sight! I have watched my car thrown up and down on its suspension system. I have seen concrete walls twisting like rubber bands and I have seen whole freeway bridges tossed into canyons. Surprisingly, few homes are ever destroyed in California earthquakes. Almost all houses are of wood and wooden building rarely collapse. They just bend and shake! Overall california fairs well in an earthquake because of its strictly enforced building codes. But in spite of this Anna, I am always ready to run outside at a seconds notice. When I feel that thunder I am ready to run. No one sleeps naked here. This is life in California.

 

*Wesley Strick, U.S. screenwriter.

*Image Source: http://californiawatch.org

Santa Claus

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There has been a tradition within ISKCON called the Christmas marathon that I have known since the beginning of the movement. I have no idea how or even if it still goes on today, but it certainly did during my time at the Los Angeles Temple. You are aware that the Krishna devotees are famous, or perhaps infamous, for street chanting, book distribution and of course proselytization. What you may not know of is “the pick.”

Krishna Consciousness at its very essence is an evangelical movement founded on the principle that the names of God are spiritual sound and so when these names are chanted privately or even publicly purification results. Thus devotees chant on beads a certain number of rounds each day. Similarly, devotees also go into the streets with chanting parties to do “street cleaning.” In my early days in Toronto I went on a few of these chanting parties. I admit there is a great rush that one gets in doing this, but I certainly never made public chanting one of my priorities in life. In fact I would avoid being at the temple when the chanting parties were being formed on a given day. I did not want to be pressured into going.

Along with these chanting parties book distributers were often included. Naturally a lot of curious people would assemble to listen to and watch the chanting party with its drums, tambourins, hand cymbals and colorful saris and shaven headed devotees. It was a spectacle indee. As the chanting party was moving along the street the book distributers would go into these crowds, talk to the people and ultimately sell them a book about Krishna Consciousness. Book sales soon became a good source of revenue for the temples, and how to best sell these books became a refined art. As a result many devotees became expert sales people. Armed with these sales skills book distribution gradually separated from the chanting parties and so shaven headed devotees would appear on all kinds of public places including street corners, bus stations and airports to sell Krishna Conscious books. One may not agree with the theology of Krishna Consciousness, but the rights of religious organizations are protected so long as everything is clean and above board. There is nothing wrong with public chanting and proselytization.

Somewhere along the line something odious crept into this street chanting and book distribution. Gradually robes and shaven heads were replaced with regular clothes, and wigs. Sacred books became bumper stickers or any thing else that could be sold. Devotees were out on the streets selling paraphernalia for the sole purpose of making money for the temple. This was The Pick. Can you grasp the meaning of the words, the pick (picking money out of peoples wallets? It became an extremely lucrative way of collecting money. Devotees would raise money for orphans, drug rehabilitation, hospitals almost any charitable cause that touched the heart of the public, and no one knew it was the Hare Krishna devotees collecting money for their temple.

 Anna, in this part of the world Christmas is the biggest shopping season of the year. The period November through January is the Christmas shopping season and so the devotees quickly adapted The Pick to take full advantage of this money flowing season. This became the annual Krishna Conscious Christmas marathon season. The time to get as many devotees on the street as possible selling almost anything. I doubt as a child you were ever taken by your mother to a big shopping store in order to sit the lap of Santa Claus and ask him to bring your favorite toy for Christmas. I certainly did, and virtually every other child on this continent did it as well. Santa Claus is indelibly etched into the culture of North America. So what a surprise it was to suddenly see 150 Santa Clauses on the street in front of the Los Angeles Krishna temple! They were preparing to be bused all over the city as part of the Christmas marathon pick. Underneath each on of these bearded Santa Clauses was a shaven headed Krishna devotee! I was amazed and appalled.

Images taken from: http://www.caviarist.com/yes-virginia-there-is-a-santa-claus, http://krishna.org/

Grand Mal

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You may recall that once I married Kama Nagari I soon discovered that she was an epileptic, but in our medieval state of Krishna conscious, both Kama Nagari and I interpreted her condition as demon possession. Looking back on this now I am appalled that allowed myself to see the world in this manner. I had also mentioned that only out of desperation was I eventually forced to view her condition as epilepsy and seek the help of the Epilepsy Society in Toronto. For their help I am eternally greatful. What ultimately forced me to break out of my shell of ignorance was a single epileptic fit that occurred while we lived at the temple in Los Angeles.

In general epileptic seizures come in two varieties, grand mal and petite mal, big ones and small ones. Kama Nagari suffered from the big ones and used to have them three to five times a month. For all the time that I knew her these seizures were nocturnal and they lasted never any longer than a few minutes, that is, except for a major seizure she experienced while we lived in Los Angeles. This one occurred during the day and lasted for a very long time, perhaps an hour. It seemed like an eternity to me. This particular seizure is one that I will never forget. She was in the kitchen cooking when she suddenly started shaking and making horrible gasping sounds. She then collapsed on the hard floor with a heart stopping thud as she hit her head. It was just good fortune that I was in the apartment at the time. I rushed to help her thinking that in a moment or two her shaking would stop and she would begin to breath again, only the seizure did not stop and she became completely blue in color. I thought for sure she was going to die. I was beside myself in terror. At the time my car was not working because the battery was dead so I called Gadadhar who rushed over. Together we carried her into his car and rushed her to a doctor’s office. I have no idea why we chose a doctor’s office instead of the emergency room of a hospital. Maybe it was closest. I have no idea why I did not call for an ambulance. All I know this that we dragged this shaking catatonic woman into the office of some doctor and beseeched him to do something, anything. It was the most insane time of my life. I was beside myself in fear and terror. The doctor objected, but we forced him to take action. There was a lot of screaming and shouting. I pity this poor man, but eventually he injected her with something, I do not know what, and she relaxed and the seizure subsided. To this day I do not know how close I was to losing Kama Nagari. In my mind it was a critical life or death situation. Regardless of how serious the situation actually was I was psychologically damaged by this incident.

Anna, I am ashamed for what I am going to say, but I am only realizing it now as I relive this incident. I was never able to look at Kama Nagari the same way after this seizure. I was so traumatized by this incident that my attitude towards her was permanently changed. I had no one to reach out to other than other devotees who only could tell me stories of ghosts and demons. I realized that Kama Nagari with this condition was way more than I could handle and I so from this point on I could only see her as damaged goods. I just wanted to get her out of my life. Of course, at the time I saw only confusion and fear, but looking at the situation from my perspective now I believe that this incident was the actual starting point of our eventual separation and divorce that occurred years later. To this day I have blamed her for initiating our divorce, but as I look at the situation now I believe she was ultimately responding to my feelings of rejection towards her that started at this early time in our marriage. I was so immature. I had no compassion in those days. I am sad as I write of this incident.

*Image Source:http://thephotographer4you.com

The Los Angeles Box

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If you recall I once wrote about my life in the box. I am, of course, speaking about the box of medieval Vaishnavism, Krishna Consciousness. While it was true that for many years I did indeed do my best to live within this box, at least psychologically, there has in fact only been two times when I have actually lived within that box and by this I mean physically lived within the box. The first time was in Los Angeles, California and the second time was years later in New Vrindavan, West Virginia. The first time I was the prey and the second time I was the predator. Let me now speak about my time in the Los Angeles box.

I have mentioned how I have lived under communism. Here is what I mean. In the early days, living within a Hare Krishna community was tantamount to living under a communist regime. We were given an apartment, food, medical care, a job, and all the necessities of life. We really had no material wants. Everything was looked after and in truth we were released from the burdens of having to work for the necessities of live.

We were free to pursue a spiritual life and for some time we obtained great joy in this lifestyle. In exchange, however, we had to think and act in certain ways and dedicate ourselves to a certain ideology. We had to live simply, cut ourselves off from the outside world and do the jobs we were told. TV or outside videos were not allowed.

We were discouraged from owning land or real estate or having bank accounts, or working on the outside. Our children attended a community school. We could not eat a whole list of forbidden fools that included meat and even tea. We could not go to restaurants, clubs or movies and, of course, alcohol or any other kinds of drugs were completely forbidden. Even relations between husband and wife were restricted. Sex was completely off limits except for procreation and you could not even choose who you married. That had to be approved by the senior spiritual authorities of the community.

We were told how uncivilized and nasty the people on the outside were. They were karmis, which was a pejorative term. We were constantly told how we lived in the perfect world, the world of Krishna Consciousness. As a consequence of living within such a restricted society I have seen how spying networks arise when members break the rules of the community and other members report them. I have also seen how basic human rights become violated when community authorities break into apartments to confiscate forbidden items. I have seen how black markets and corruption develop when members covertly trade in forbidden items like televisions. This is how it was for the full time devotees who were serious about their spiritual lives in the very early days of Krishna Consciousness. Nowadays the rules are more relaxed.

Anna, when I hear how in Iran or some other fundamentalist Muslin country the citizens are not allowed to have satellite TVs or listen to Western music and how the ayatollahs and other clerics control the private aspects of personal lives, I understand. When I hear how in Soviet Russia or during Maoist China people could not own land or have private businesses, I understand. When I hear how the citizens live in North Korea, completely cut off from the rest of the world and living in fear of the outside, I understand, for I have lived that way. I understand the nature of life within a theocracy, I understand the benefits of communism and I know the how these ideologies lead to totalitarianism and fascism. I understand how evil develops from a utopian way of life. Krishna Consciousness gave me huge insights into human psychology, political ideology and the nature of evil.

Kama Nagari, Vrindavan and I lived in Los Angeles between September of 1977 and May of 1978. During that time I worked with the BBT, the Hare Krishna’s book publishing division, and taught Sanskrit at the Los Angeles’s community school.

Kama Nagari worked with Spiritual Sky, the communities incense manufacturing company. This was my first attempt to live the lifestyle of a full time devotee, which meant that I became totally dependent on the Hare Krishna movement. Prior to this I had lived outside on my own and would regularly visit the temple. I always felt that I was not a real devotee because of my non “full time” status so was I eager to surrender and become a full time devotee. It did not take me more than three months to decide that such a full time life style was not for me. Three things quickly drove me to this conclusion. First, I never received my devotional stipend on time which meant that I could not pay my rent on time. Kama Nagari and I had an outside apartment, not one of the community apartments, which meant that we had to interact with the outside world in the form of paying rent. We had a day that the rent must be paid. Never once did I receive my allotment on time.

This was a matter that drove me crazy. I had signed a contract and given my word to pay on time. I remember having many shouting matches with Radha Vallabha, the person in charge of the BBT at the time. He would always tell me to not be so attached, not to worry and to rely on Krishna. Besides, my landlords were just karmis, outsiders. I could never accept this.

The second that drove me to dispute was when I needed small things like light bulbs, tooth paste, baby formula or heaven forbid a new battery for my car. I remember I once had to go and ask for extra funds from the temple in order to purchase a $45 car battery. It took the temple a month to give me this small amount of money. I was told that I was wasting the spiritual master’s money by having a car. Of course, the head of the BBT had a new car and all the light bulbs he wanted. I could not tolerate being so dependent. I was never a good candidate for submission.

The final aspect of “surrendered” life that I could not accept was when I was told to go to the local government welfare department to get food stamps and medical assistance. I could not tolerate the indignity of having to beg from the government for assistance. It was simply impossible for me to be dependent on any outside agency regardless of whether is was the temple community or the State of California. Socialism was not for me. Life in the Hare Krishna movement was not what I expected, so I soon decided that I would take control of my life, move back to Canada and return to school. But there was one major psychological problem that kept me from doing this for another six months. I was afraid that if I left the temple I could not be a devotee. I feared that I would lose my devotional status and so I tolerated temple life for another six months.

Anna, getting up early in the morning to attend mangal arati at 4:30 AM was never a problem for me. Chanting two hours of japa or being a vegetarian or abstaining from alcohol was never a problem for me. But being economically dependent drove me to the edge. By the end of April I had had just was much as “surrendered” life as I could take and so I thought, “I am out. I do not care if I cease to be a devotee? I will be a karmi. I am taking charge and moving on with my life.” I packed my bags and moved Kama Nagari and Vrindavan back to Toronto. My Hare Krishna experience was over and I was done with my life in American, or so I thought.

Image taken from: http://gw-bw.com/2010/09/20/trapped-horrible-job-no-hope/

Wealth

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Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth*

“Virtue does not come from wealth, but wealth, and every other good thing which men have, comes from virtue”**

 

People think that I am a theologian and this is true, but what I also am is an anthropologist, an observer of humanity, The world is my laboratory. Here is what I have learned about God, man and wealth.

Most people assume that wealth is about money, but this is not the case. Money is just one aspect of wealth. Instead, how I see wealth is best captured by the Sanskrit word, “shri.” My dictionary defines shri as: virtue, beauty, grace, splendor, luster, and glory. In other words, wealth is based in aesthetics and, therefore, any abundance of these or similar qualities constitutes wealth.

One of the things that I like about Hinduism is its ability to personify all aspects of life. Consequently, there is a sun god, a moon god, a rain god, a wind god and even a wealth god. In fact the wealth god is a goddess, Shridevi, for wealth is perceived as feminine. Here is the story of how Shridevi came to be. In the early days after the creation of the world, the gods and the demons desired to obtain a divine nectar that could bestow immortality on them. To do this they worked together to churn the cosmic ocean of milk, just as one can churn cream to create butter. Anna, this is a wonderful story that involves snakes and scorpions and poison, mountains, elephants, jewels, gorgeous women and even a divine tortoise and I will be happy to tell you the whole story sometime, but for now, I will just mention that there is a special moment in the story when the goddess Shridevi herself mysteriously rises out of the churning milk. Her appearance is compared to the moon’s appearance rising on the horizon.

Shridevi is beautiful, golden and full. Both the gods and the demons immediately desire to possess her as a wife. One by one she approaches each of the gods and demons to see who could be a suitable candidate to become her husband. But she finds defects in all of them. One has great physical beauty, but lacks patience, another has patience, but lacks knowledge. Another has physical beauty, patience and even knowledge, but is possessed of anger. She could find no one amongst the gods or demons who possessed all good qualities and virtues. Finally, she approached Vishnu, the highest divinity, and immediately found in Him all desirable qualities and virtues. Shridevi chose Vishnu as her husband. In Hindu mythology Vishnu is the husband of the Goddess of Wealth, Shridevi. Another name for the Shridevi is Maha Lakshmi, the Great Goddess of Fortune. (“Maha” means big or great.) Such is the image of wealth and prosperity in Hinduism: a beautiful goddess who stands upon a lotus while gold issues forth from her hand.

Here is another illustration of how personification is used. It is common within Hinduism to see great religious festivals in honor of any God or Goddess. These festivals are called pujas. In the case of Maha Lakshmi, for example, her picture or sacred image will be adorned with flowers, fruits and perhaps even with a money garland. I have even seen hundred dollar bills used! During this festival, her followers will attend and sing songs of praise and glorification. There will be musical instruments and festive dance with dollar bills liberally thrown into the air in a joyous mood. It is a wonderful occasion that may last long into the night. What I find most interesting about this kind of puja is that during the celebration, little girls, all dressed up in beautiful costumes and jewelry, will be lined up in front of the Goddess and worshipped alongside Her. They will be honored with money, sweets, little toys and other things that appeal to little girls. These little girls are perceived as “Anu Lakshmis,” little Lakshmis, and the worship of them is non different from the worship of the Maha Lakshmi, the big Lakshmi! What a wonderful thing to see.

And so in Hinduism there is Maha Lakshmi and Anu Lakshmi, the big or divine manifestation of wealth and the little or earthly manifestation. This principle of personification that includes the big manifestation and the little manifestation can be applied across all aspect of life. If you want to get to the “big,” approach the “small.” And the reverse is also true. If you want to get to the “small,” go to the “big.”

Anna, just think of what power this gives. If a little girl is an anu manifestation of wealth, then why not any other things of beauty: a wife, children, animals, gold coins, a luxury car, a beautiful home, jewelry, art, dance, music, the list is endless. And if all these things are perceived as feminine then they must also be possessed of a feminine nature. So how can you attract them? Why not in the same way a man may attract a woman? Do you see where I am going with this? In the story of the appearance of Maha Lakshmi, Shridevi went searching for a suitable husband, but She only picked the one who had the best qualities. What highly qualified woman would want to marry a miserable, cheap, mean and uneducated man? And so if miserableness, cheapness, meanness and ignorance are qualities that will not attract Shridevi, then their opposites, positiveness, liberality, kindness and education are qualities that will attract Shridevi. In other words, the qualities of shri attract Shridevi! Nothing succeeds like success. Therefore, if a person wants to have wealth in his life, then become educated, adopt a positive attitude, be liberal, wear nice clothes, be kind, collect art– adopt all of the qualities of sri, have an aesthetically pleasing lifestyle, and wealth will come. Wealth attracts wealth. Or to put is another way, become little Vishnu and little Lakshmi will be attracted! This is the secret to acquire wealth.

When I was recently in Paris at the Louvre I came across a huge statue of the Greek god Zeus, deity of thunder and lightning.

I was completely taken aback by the magnitude and majesty of this wonderful image and so as I moved on from this god to another place in the Louvre I felt compelled to tip my hat in respect. In a similar way, I remember standing at the foot of a huge Sequoia tree in Northern California and thinking I should show my respects to this tree by bowing down. This Sequoia tree was 5000 years old and had a trunk diameter of over 10 meters! It was big enough to drive a transport truck through. A Sequoia is an unbelievable living being. You feel you are in the presence of a god when you stand before one.

Anna, after Maha Lakshmi had appeared from the churning of the milk ocean, she ultimately gave herself as a wife to Vishnu. Consequently, Vishnu is sometime referred to as the owner of Lakshmi. Stories like the churning of the milk ocean are not just folk tales from India, they are myths and as such they deal with archetypes, universal truths. With this in mind the story of the churning of the milk ocean has much to teach about wealth. It is no accident that wealth is perceived as feminine or that Lakshmi accepted Vishnu alone as her husband. One can derive great wisdom about the nature of life and human psychology if one can learn to read the universal message of the world’s myths.

India has another great mythological story, the Ramayana, This is a story of the God Vishnu, who descended to earth as Rama. A great ten headed demon named Ravana kidnapped Rama’s wife, Sita, who was none other than Maha Lakshmi Herself appearing in another guise. Ravana wanted to forcibly marry Sita, so he stole her away and kept her in this kingdom. Ravana was trying to possess all the enjoyments and powers of life in the form of Sita, without acknowledging the real owner of wealth, Rama. Consequently, he was eventually killed by Rama. The Ramayana is one of the world’s greatest epics and should be read by all. The Ramayana is teaching that we should not become little Ravanas trying to enjoy the world without acknowledging the real owner of wealth. This is where the principle of tipping the hat comes into play. At some level there must be an acknowledgment of the source of wealth if wealth is to be rightfully sustained, otherwise we are a thief.

Anna, as I write this I do not want to convey the idea that this is some magic formula for becoming rich. I am not describing some means of ritualized piety that automatically leads to wealth. There are plenty of mean people in this world who have great wealth and do not believe in God, and similarly, there are plenty of God fearing people who live in abject poverty. What I am talking about here is an approach to life that I choose to follow. I have told you that I do not believe in sky gods, and yet I do accept some underlying principle or divine mystery in life. So for me the hat tipping principle that I naturally feel when I see the the image of Zeus or stand before a Sequoia or that I have learned from the myths of Hinduism, is how I choose to live my life. This approach is my way of integrating myself with the universe. It is my way of “being” in this world.

*Image Source: http://devotionalonly.com/maa-lakshmi-devi-slokas-and-mantras/

**Socrates

***Image Source: http://www.freethoughtpedia.com/wiki/Zeus

Science: The Story

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There is a Hindu story of creation that goes as follows: At the beginning of time Maha Vishnu laid down on the causal ocean and fell into a deep mystic slumber in order to dream of all things. As he breathed, untold numbers of universes emanated. Each of these universes was filled was another Vishnu who also laid down on the waters of creation that filled half of the universe and this Vishnu also fell into a mystic slumber and dreamt of the world. While he slept, from his navel a divine lotus sprouted and began to grow. In time this lotus blossomed into a mature plant and at the top of the universe a cosmic lotus flower unfolded. From the center of this lotus was born the first god Brahma, the creator.

At first Brahma was bewildered. Everything was in darkness. In fear he retreated into the center of the lotus, but there was no where to go. Finally he heard a voice in the darkness calling to him, “Create, oh Brahma, create.” And so Brahma also fell into a deep sleep and began to imagine creation. Whatever he dreamed of began to manifest. In this way there are a endless number of universes with an infinite number of Brahmas all creating these untold numbers of worlds.

This is just one Hindu story of creation and of course every culture has its story of creation. You know the Biblical story, so I will not repeat it.

Here is the story of creation that modern science tells. It is called the “The Big Bang.” Imagine that you want to start a universe. So gather up all the matter of the universe and squeeze it into a size of space which is a billionth the size of a proton. A proton is a tiny part of an atom which itself is a tiny thing. Protons are so small that a spot of ink like the size of the dot of an “i” can hold something like five hundred billion of them. No matter how hard you try you will never be able to comprehend the size of a proton. It is just too small. Now imagine shrinking one of those protons down to a billionth of its size into a space so small that it would make a proton look massive.

In fact squeeze all the matter of the universe into a space that is so small it was no dimensions at all. This is known as a singularity. Now get ready for a really big bang. Naturally you will want to watch this spectacle from a distance, but unfortunately there is nowhere to do so. When the universe expands it will not be spreading out to fill existing space, the only space that exits is what it creates as it expands. And so from nothing creation takes place. From a space much too infinitesimal to describe, this singularity explodes and fills the heavens to dimensions much too large to even imagine and it is even now continuing to expand at a rate that you can not even imagine. In less than three minutes all the matter that exits and even will exit has been produced. We have a universe and it is filled with wonderful possibilities. and it was all done in the time it takes to make a sandwich.**

I am not joking, this is the story of creation taken from a modern science book. Does the story of modern scientific creation sound any more rational that the Hindu or Biblical story of creation? Not to me. And I can assure you that in another generation “The Big Bang” theory will be replaced by some other theory in the same way Newtonian science has been superseded by Einsteinian science. My point is this, according to the thinking of the day a story of creation arises within each culture. The ancient Hindus had their story, the ancient Jews had their story and we have ours. These stories correspond to the level of intellectual thinking of the time. The Big Bang is the current story of this culture and it is trying to capture a mystery.

 

 

*Image Source: http://www.teachenglishinasia.net/asiablog/asian-water-lilies-and-lotus-flowers

 

*** Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson, 2005